In a confidential email, sure to cause widespread embarrassment to the government and climate change activists alike, Ed Miliband, Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change has described climate change as “The best scam ever invented”.

Despite having no science qualifications whatsoever, Mr Miliband is the government’s global warming cheerleader, popping up everywhere with all kinds of deceitful messages and propaganda.

The email, thought to have been accidentally forwarded to the press by one of his assistants, details how Miliband believes he has found “A job for life” and

“Here’s a scam that can’t be rumbled for decades. It’s not like the Millennium Bug – we never had time to get that one really going – this one can run and run and run. I love it.”

He continues:

“You only have to look at Al Gore in America. He got beat in the election and now he’s a multi-millionaire out of this. But, for me, it’s not just the money: it’s the fact that you can order people about and dream up life-changing restrictions without even having to be in government. Look, my career as a politician ends at the next election, I need this new opening.”

As Miliband’s email was being digested by senior politicians of all parties, one source close to Downing Street said:

“He’s a twat that Miliband. He’s just a greasy Jewish Commie with ideas that are bigger than his brain can handle. He should still be in short trousers, not going round buggering up one of the great money-making myths of the age. And just when we thought we’d managed to get the whole electorate on a guilt-trip”.