With fairness constantly at the forefront of government thinking, the Health Secretary Andy Burnham has announced a shake-up of medical qualifications. In a move aimed squarely at educational elitists, the Health Secretary said that from June 2010 anyone with a degree obtained at an English university will be able to practise medicine. This means that students who do not attend medical school, but who feel they would have qualified if they had, will be able to become family doctors, surgeons or dentists, (but not all three at once). Acceptable degrees will include Media Studies, Golf Course Management and pretty well every other degree currently available at UK universities.

Unveiling the strategy, Mr Burnham said he was delighted to introduce the reforms and that they were well overdue.

“For too long we have accepted that only people from posh schools and wealthy families who can afford huge tuition fees should practise medicine. And, with our current shortage of doctors and dentists here is a practical way to bridge the gap between demand and supply. The NHS already pays out millions of pounds every year in medical negligence claims, and I don’t believe that opening up opportunities for all graduates to have a bash at healing people will make any noticeable difference. In any case, we’ll be voted out before the results begin to show and the Tories will just have to deal with it. Serves ‘em right.”

A spokesperson for the American president Obamarama said they were excited by the move and would be looking to incorporate it into their fledgling state-funded medical care scheme when it is introduced.